Rosy Cheeks
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House Plant, C’est Moi: A Bad Seed in the Garden (thepoliticker.observer)
Illo: Andrew DeGraff
I’m not much of a gardener, but I’m an obsessive anthropomorphizer, and so I
garden primarily out of guilt. In the autumn, I shudder to hear the leaves
scream as they fall to their deaths; in winter, my heart breaks for the trees,
trembling in the cold and wind.
_Why?_ the trees ask. _Why?_
But I have no answer.
Which brings me to my houseplant—I’ll call her Flannery—a corn plant. I’ve
never liked houseplants, I don’t know why. They make me angry. I am, however,
a man of much irrational hatred, and only realized why houseplants infuriate
me so much this past weekend, when Flannery died.
I took her in a year ago. I was in my local nursery when I saw Flannery there,
in a corner beside the door, in a pathetic plastic pot, and she called out to
me:
_I’m young, Mister, and frightened; please don’t leave me here …_
I felt bad for Flannery—she seemed small and broken and needful—and so I
picked her up and put her in my cart, and I bought for her a hand-painted
Indonesian pot, and a bag of premium indoor potting soil, and I came ...